I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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