theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
