The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
