Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
