i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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