I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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