it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
