And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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