my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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