you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
