i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
