if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Floor bacon is actually really good
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
