I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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