It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So squirting runs in the family.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
