D3 body, D1 cock
i just google imaged poop.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
