what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
