Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
