Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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