My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
