Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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