Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
