I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
