You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The air taste purple.
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