there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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