I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
