i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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