I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
