Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
