Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
