Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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