Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
