i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize