Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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