i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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