finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
