I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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