party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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