I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
