Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i love accidental penises.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
