Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize