3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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