HIV tests are more positive than that guy
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
