watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
