did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
