Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
