I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
