ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
