I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize