My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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