do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
