Me. At least after what I've been through.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
