Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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