well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
