So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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