so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I supernannyed him into submission
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
