so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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