dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
