Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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