exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
