And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
