You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
